Before we get started here today, I’d like to thank you all for coming. It is often stated that the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. Just by joining me here today you have shown a great amount of courage and humility. Together we will seek the wisdom necessary to conquer our issues.

Anger does not have to be bad thing. It can be a cathartic release for our inner pain; a venting of frustration which unchecked could poison our being. But unchecked anger is also a poison. Anger, and its even more outspoken cousin rage, can wrongfully shape how we view the world, and cheapen our enjoyment of life’s pleasures. This I fear is what has happened to you, with regards to the Miami Heat.

But before we seek healing from our inner demon, we must search inside our souls, to find the root of our fury. How have the Miami Heat wronged you reader? What indignation hath Lebron James, Dwayne Wade and the delightful Chris Bosh wrought upon your being? Why do you, purported fan of basketball, find the Heat so infuriating?

For some the answer is simple and obvious. To you Cleveland, I would first offer my condolences. You held Lebron James as a savior, a local hero, someone who would drag you from depths of your sports despair and deliver you unto that championship promised land that has so long eluded you. But Lebron James is but a mortal man. A gifted man certainly, but still a man. He gave you all of that he could, five playoff appearances, one Eastern Conference Championship, two MVP seasons, and more highlights than some franchises have had in their entire existence. Yes he hurt you, breaking up with you in public, which did not prevent you from making a scene.  He abandoned you for a hot new girlfriend with beaches and palm trees and Dwayne Wades. It hurt, and as they say, only time heals a broken heart.

But try and see his perspective on the situation. Does Lebron not also deserve happiness? Is he not free to control his destiny? To live his life the way he sees fit, to seek out his own ambitions? Some relationships don’t work, no matter how much of yourself you give. Not all couples are built for the long haul. Lebron needed to feel wanted again. He missed playing with his friends, longed for how things were in the beginning, before you thrust all of your hopes and expectations and dreams upon him. You demanded that he commit to you, settle down and begin upholding what you deemed his responsibility. But he sought his own dreams. He made the right decision for himself, and isn’t that we what we should expect. Should we not wish happiness for those we love?

Yet you are not alone in your hatred Cleveland. Many around the country share your anger, many join you in rage. But they too are misled. For Lebron James does not deserve our scorn. He has earned our admiration, perhaps our adulation. He is moving art, a free flowing expression of power and grace, and the masterpieces he creates day in day out in the NBA deserve at minimum our respectful appreciation. Lebron James handles a basketball the way Picasso handled a paintbrush. He composes NBA offense the way Bethoveen composed sympathies that he would name after himself. Yet we do not question his hubris. How can one watch Lebron James play basketball and be filled with resentment?

For some there is an element of jealousy. Lebron James only reinforced the insecurity you feel, Milwaukee and Minnesota. We know you have much to offer. Beer and skiing and impossibly large monuments to commerce. Still again you were shown how skimpy clothes and a legendary night life provide an appeal you can never hope to achieve. You feel a sense of impotence, how can you compete with the warm weather and late nights of those southern divas. But take pride in what you have achieved. Strong tradition and a burgeoning youth movement and LARRY SANDERS! Covet not thy neighbors possesions, or women or oxen.¹

Others perhaps feel the Heat steal attention from their own assets. Kevin Durant is gift to basketball fans² who should take a backseat to no one. And was not Derrick Rose an MVP, and did the Chicago Bulls not hold the number one seed in East for two straight years over Wade and Jame’s Heat? What makes them so damn special? But you have allowed you outrage to color your perceptions. Kevin Durant is phenomenal, a top talent and a great person. His greatness is appreciated, only you have convinced yourself he is overlooked OKC. And you Chicago, we recognize the rare gift that Derrick Rose is for our basketball eyes. Tom Thibideau is a genius of the highest order, even if his minutes usage of Joakim Noah is prosecutable as assault in may states. No one is being neglected, they are all integral parts of the mosaic that is the current NBA.

Yet still you hate. Still you rage against the machine of modern sports media. You take to twitter to question toughness and clutchness and alpha dogness and other imaginary concepts. Your anger consumes you, and you lash out at any and all who do not see the world from your contorted point of view. You are, quite honestly, ruining it for the rest of us.

Sure Lebron James occupies a seemingly massive percentage of sportscenter’s NBA coverage. Sure Dwayne Wade flops and wines and is far too often slow to get back on defense because THE REF NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND THAT HE WAS FOULED!  And yes Chris Bosh looks like an ostrich, or a dinosaur, or Predator, or a cartoon hyena, or whatever you want really.³ And yes, occasionally Heat fans will show up late, and leave early, but its late and they have to get ready for the clubs because Pitbull might be appearing tonight and they just bought this new outfit. There are irritants, not least of which are Eric Spoelstra’s attempts to be a sixth man on the court. But nobody’s perfect.

The Heat are beautiful, and when you learn to appreciate that beauty, everything else becomes beautiful as well. I was once like you. I railed against Lebron’s lack of mental fortitude and the preposterousness of three superstars teaming up and how the Heat is an awful team name anyways. But I made a choice. I made a choice to enjoy good basketball wherever it is played, and it is played with a style and refined aggression in Miami that should not go unappreciated. I watched the 2013 NBA finals with all the joy and giddiness of a school girl.⁴ And you friend did not have this. Because you have hate in your heart. And that hate must be purged. For great basketball is being played, and you are missing it. Also have you seen Chris Bosh’s photobombs???