Singapore is sort of an anomaly in SE Asia. The guided democracy ruled almost exclusively by one political party achieved renown for advancing from developing country to developed country during the term of a single leader. A fellow backpacker who had worked his way from Vietnam to Cambodia to Thailand to Singapore described reaching the city as akin to traveling into the future. It is indeed easy to imagine future space stations less impressive than Changi International Airport in Singapore. If you have ever wondered what an entire society of people who obey subway signs looked like, Singapore is your answer.

Singapore is also a strict society. Not as strict as some would imagine, but definitely one that believes that people require more law to succeed, not less. The sale of gum is outlawed (though not the actual act of chewing), jay walking is strictly enforced, and drug laws are draconian. In addition to all of this, Singapore is expensive. And just like Costa Rica or Switzerland, standard backpacker advice for Singapore is to spend as little time, and thus as little money, there as possible.

Singapore was a late addition to our travel itinerary. Very late in our planning phase, while staring at a map and drinking beer I had the epiphany that it might be easier to fly from the Philippines to Singapore and then move in a more or less continuous line North and then East through peninsular SE Asia. With almost no additional thought put into the plan we booked the cheapest flight to Singapore from the Philippines, via the Kalibo International Airport.

There may not be two airports in the world that you can fly between that are more different. Kalibo Airport has two terminals, international and domestic, that are located inside a building smaller than a grocery store. We are told that we should eat at one of the restaurants outside the airport because there will not be food inside. The first person to check our passports is sitting in a plastic lawn chair just outside the terminal entrance. We next go through security which is one x ray machine, one metal detector, and one continuous line that leads from before security, through security, up to the check in desk where it finally splits into two, based on which of the two airlines you have booked, because there are only two airlines. All of this takes place in one room about the size of a 7-11. While standing in line we are told that the final step of this process will be to pay the terminal fee. What’s this you ask? Why it’s the fee you have to pay for the glorious privilege of using this terminal. It amounts to $14 US each. So while Megan waits in the glacially slow line, I take off outside the terminal, around the corner to the only ATM in the entire airport (which is also technically outside the airport.) With all tickets printed (on literal receipt paper), bags inspected, fees paid, we head to gate 1 of 2 and board our plane, which requires we exit the gate, walk across the runway and up a staircase into the actual plane.

After 3 hours we arrive at Changi International Airport. Human sized video ads welcome us to Singapore, we enter the first shopping area, roughly the size of the largest mall in Oklahoma City. Multiple employees in three piece suits ask us if we need assistance; their name tags list the different languages they speak in addition to English, which they all speak. We are given a personal wifi password at an information terminal. A miniature forest lies in front of us. We make our way to customs, where the official makes small talk, corrects my English, corrects my customs form, and implores me to enjoy Singapore. Before making our way to the metro we stop to use the restroom. Everything is automatic of course but there are also three types of toilets. The first is a squatter, a sloped, porcelain hole in the ground flanked by a hose for washing, toilet paper, and fragrances. The next a bidet/toilet combination with two different styles of water stream, sanitizer just for the toilet seat, toilet paper, and fragrances. And finally one standard toilet with just toilet paper for disgusting and unclean Westerners to feel comfortable. We exit and take the world’s cleanest metro to our hostel.

The next day we head to the Singapore Botanic Gardens. Originally started by British botanists while Singapore was still a colony to figure out which commercially viable plant all of the rain forests in the region could be replaced with to maximize the colony’s profitability (the winner was rubber), it has since become a UNESCO world heritage site, the only tropical botanical gardens to earn the distinction. We wander aimlessly throughout the gardens, slowly evolving our opinion from this is nice to this awesome to this might be the most beautiful place on earth. Along the way we see tropical birds and turtles and monitor lizards, including one monstrosity that must have been 5 feet long swimming across a pond looking for a new tree to lay under. Wetlands, native rain forests, an orchid garden, and very expensive restaurants can all be found inside. We wait out a brief rain and make our way to orchard street, a line of mega hotels, five star restaurants and a massive mall that we immediately realize we do not have the budget to even look at. We eat a slice of pizza each from the mall food court, the entirety of that days budget, and metro back to the hostel. We have our first night of backpacker bonding in the social area and the next day seven of us meet up to go on a walking tour of Chinatown.

Singapore today is about 75% Chinese, but almost all of them trace their ancestry to after British colonization, when the British brought in Chinese labor to work the plantations and docks of their new colony. The result is that while Chinatown might be the historical Chinese neighborhood, the entire city feels heavily influenced by Chinese culture. In a way Chinatown itself has an unnatural feel to me. Having visited Chinatown districts in Toronto and San Francisco gave me an idea of what Chinatowns look like, but Singapore’s has a very different feel and appearance. There are still the temples and shops selling Chinese goods both traditional and modern, but the ramshackle feel, the life spilling into the streets, the feeling of having entered a new country are missing. For one thing every structure in Singapore’s Chinatown feels brand new, and everything looks sort of fake. Megan described it as looking like the China section of Disney World or Epcot. To me it looked like a Chinese themed casino in Vegas. The reality is that when a country tries its best to leave no people, no neighborhood, and no street behind, than nothing feels old. For people living in these neighborhoods this is undoubtedly a positive. The fact that it caught this dumb foreigner off guard says more about me and my need to change my expectations. That is the point of travel I suppose.

Two highlights from the tour were the Buddha Tooth temple and the shop and selling paper goods. The Buddha Tooth temple is the newest temple in Singapore and beautiful. Literally thousands of miniature Buddha icons line the walls, and various other deities have their own altars. While there we got to briefly sit in on a Buddhist service. It left me vowing to learn more about non Abrahamic religions upon returning home. The shop was a different kind of educational experience. In some traditional Chinese cultures it is common to burn items so that they might be received by family members in the afterlife. Because many modern items don’t burn, at least not in environmentally friendly ways, this shop sold paper versions of nearly anything you could think of. From full suits to iphones to six packs of beer, if you want to send it to your dearly departed, this store had it in paper form. The only catch: items were unlicensed, so Coca Cola becomes Cocu Colu and Carlsberg beer becomes Cartsberg. I’m sure I won’t mind after I pass either, so long as the beer is still good.

Walking tour over we head for a Hawker center, one of the only ways to eat cheap in Singapore. These flea markets for food hold several dozen food stands, 70% offering the same dishes, for 4 -8 Singaporean dollars, a relative steal. I wait in line for a popular shrimp fried chicken wing dish and Megan gets a custom salad. Both meals are better than the mall pizza, and cost about half the price. Bellies full, we meander to the Asian Civilizations Museum.

The ACM features exhibits highlighting the various religions and cultures of Asia and the trade networks that connect them. One of the highlights of the museum is an exhibit featuring artifacts recovered from 9^th century shipwreck only recently discovered. These 1200 year old items are fascinating, many still showcasing their original painted designs. Featuring Islamic motifs on Chinese ceramics, the shipwreck proves the existence of a pan Asian sea trade network 6 and a half centuries before Europeans accidentally bumped into the Americans trying to get cheaper cloves. Other exhibits on trade networks and religion were equally fascinating.

Having had our feel of history and air conditioning we rendezvous with our hostel friends for an evening of light shows and mega malls. The first at the Gardens by the Bay features rock and roll and giant fake trees and we catch the very end, which is enough. Waiting for the second show we tour a mall meant for people who make more money than bartenders and small countries. While walking around a two story Gucci store we realize that a store associate is following behind and spraying cologne in each section after we enter. Sorry friend, but to paraphrase Sandra from Switzerland, when I travel I’m dirty. The appropriate time having arrived, we watch a much more impressive light and water show before returning to the hostel for drinks and cards.

Failing to heed the advice of nearly everyone we meet, we extend our stay by one night, mostly because we’ve been to lazy to book accommodation in or transport to our next stop. We visit the National Gallery, a six story art museum with exhibits following a timeline from precolonial to modern times. There are also a few children’s exhibits, the highlight for my young at heart travel companion Megan. We leave and make our way to Little India, an area that feels a little more genuine to my foreign eyes than Chinatown, by virtue of all the buildings looking as though they were built last decade and not last year. Dozens of shops sell everything from modern electronics to traditional attire to souvenirs. We look at everything and buy nothing because even in Little Indian Singapore is expensive. We finally stop to have very good Indian food and absorb the neighborhood before heading back to the hostel. We decide we are finished in Singapore and book our next hostel. Melaka, Malaysia; home to the Melaka sultanate and a Hard Rock Cafe.