I do not know what one is supposed to feel when one accomplishes a goal. A profound sense of accomplishment perhaps. A weight lifted maybe. For me it is often a melancholy feeling. It’s not some “it’s the journey not the destination” thing, the journey is fun but only if it is actually towards a goal. I think it is the knowledge that now I have to move on, that now I have to find something else to work toward. And it also the feeling that I may never return.

Every time I leave a country I do so with regrets. The list of things I missed, I didn’t have time for, or I was in the wrong season for always lingering in the back of mind. There is quite simply never enough time. And I felt that doubly so with Guatemala. I have never done as much research, as much preparation for a country as I did for Guatemala, save maybe Peru. It has traditionally been my method to arrive in a city knowing very little except perhaps where I am staying.¹ This is how one visits Seville and nearly misses the Plaza de Espana because they don’t know it exists. But I have had four years since the last backpacking trip to think about what was next. And Guatemala was in almost every permutation of the next trip. It is because of this I think, that I was so aware of how much I had missed.

Guatemala surpassed in every way my expectations, which only makes my awareness of what I missed all the more painful. From Antigua, a city in which we spent a week and which demanded at least one more, to the Rio Dulce, where despite our best efforts we failed to spot a Manatee. We visited two towns on Lago de Atitlan, I would have liked to have seen at least four more. We hiked one volcano and, well actually that was a sufficient amount. Some things are enough. Of course we barely scratched the surface of the Mayan ruins. We spent one day in Tikal and it deserved three, El Mirador’s cost and time requirements kept it out of our grasp. Coban, Tintal, and numerous others will have to wait for another time, perhaps another life. Add to this the places we didn’t even touch; the colonial center of Guatemala City, the cool mountain air and cool mountain attitude of Xela², the beach town of El Paredon. Guatemala has enough places we didn’t even touch to justify an additional three weeks. Of this I remain depressingly aware.

This abundance of things to see, both natural and man-made, is what makes Guatemala so amazing. I don’t know that I have ever been to a country that combines so much into a relatively small area.³ Guatemala is smaller in area than my home state of Oklahoma, yet somehow 10x as beautiful and 20x as interesting. It is a place where one can spend an early morning walking along cobbled streets and admiring a crumbling 16^th Century convent and spend that evening watching a volcano erupt from the top of another volcano with clouds underneath you.⁴ The next day you can stand atop a pyramid 1200 years old and spot others peaking above the treeline for miles every direction. Any of these would be the most amazing thing in Oklahoma. All of these are in Guatemala.

For four years I dreamed of visiting Guatemala. And the only disappointment was not having more time to spend there. Guatemala is an amazing place. Almost certainly earning a spot in the coveted Ronny’s top five countries list.⁵ But it was also a goal accomplished, and I can’t help feel that old familiar melancholy; I was there, and now am not, and may never be again. That is a bittersweet thing.

1Though not always even that.

2Also called Quetzaltenango

3Costa Rica might have it beat on pure nature, but only barely and can’t begin to touch it in terms of either ancient or colonial beauty. Bolivia is proving to be a strong contender, but it is a much larger country. There are other contenders of course, Cambodia, Vietnam, Greece, France but I think Guatemala beats them all.

4Again you will pay for this with your body and soul, but it can be done.

5Which contains around 15 countries.