I forgot the ring. I stood there at the absolute perfect place, a sun setting low while I stood perched with the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with looking out on the the single most majestic sight I have ever seen in my life. Every element was perfect. Everything was exactly as I had imagined. Except I forgot the ring. The best laid proposals of mice and men.

A person does not propose in month three of a five month trip without some planning in advance. For one thing there was the fact that I had been carrying around a ring for the entire trip. But it was more than that. I toyed with the idea of waiting until the very last day of the trip. That way a proposal could immediately be followed by celebrating with friends and family. But in the end I knew I wanted to propose at Machu Picchu. Where better to embark on a new journey than at the culmination of another. In truth I think that Megan suspected my plan. Which made it all the more awkward that I had forgotten the ring.

The problem was that they picked us up at three in the morning. I had tried to sneak into my day pack the day before but Megan kept catching me. The gray jewelry box was not exactly inconspicuous, and I didn’t trust myself to carry only the ring without losing it. So the next morning came and it was very early and in the very tired rush I forgot the ring. I contemplated proposing without the ring. But every time I tried to imagine it in the 8 hour hike it just felt too awkward and imperfect. So I decided to wait.

But when do you propose when the perfect moment has already passed. What on this great and beautiful earth could possibly compare to Machu Picchu. The answer is nothing, and herein lay my dilemma. For the next two and a half weeks I searched for the next most perfect moment. Nothing was sufficient. Colca Canyon was beautiful but also so physically taxing we were exhausted the whole time. Arequipa was pretty but less so than Sucre and so insufficient. The sand desert of Huacachina seemed good on paper but the reality on paper was 50 strangers looking at the same underwhelming sunset while dune buggies raced around in the background. Nothing it seemed would ever be perfect.

Then came Paracas. Maybe there would not be a true contender with Machu Picchu but a beautiful beach town known for wildlife and good weather is a pretty nice consolation. So it was rather disappointing that on the planned day, with the ring in pocket, we went to collect our rented bicycles on an unusually cold and dreary day for Paracas. As we rode through the nature reserve, my thighs absolutely on fire in the worst way due to the fact that I only ride a bike once every four years or so, that I decided it was not the right day. The ever increasing difficulty of the ride, the wind and dark clouds and complete lack of animal sightings only cemented my opinion.

So it was as much a shock to me as to Megan when I decided to ask the question. We found ourselves alone, on a platform overlooking the ocean, only the sound of the waves and our conversation, when suddenly the urge to pull out the ring and find out our future came over me. I did it because I was tired of waiting on the perfect moment. I did it because there is no perfect moment. I did it because when you find the right person ever moment is perfect.

I have already heard from numerous family members how surprised they were. “We thought you would never get married.” The truth is finding the right person and getting married was always part of my life plan. I was just very focused on the right person aspect. A child free life of endless traveling and excessive walking isn’t for everyone, especially not Oklahomans. I also had promises to my self to complete. Six years ago I swore that I would visit Machu Picchu and South America, and that I would not allow life to intervene until I had fulfilled my goal. Then there was the pandemic. But there also was Megan, standing by me, encouraging me, not just along for the ride but a partner in the journey. So we sit in South America together. So we shall sit always, together.

I don’t think anyone has opened my life to as many new experiences as Megan, an impressive accomplishment considering my entire existence is searching out new experiences. But from foods I would never have tried, to astrology charts I would never have read, to drag shows I would never have attended, she shows me ways of viewing, understanding, and living life that I had ignored. She has made me a connoisseur of pho, a frequent stone purchaser, and a militant ally.¹ She is supportive to an unimaginable degree, putting her dreams on hold to chase mine across continents, listening as I wax poetic over the different interpretations of Odysseus in Greek and Roman literature, trying and failing but giving her absolute best to pretend to be interested in my newest Skyrim character. She was even willing to face her fear of snakes to look for anacondas in the Amazon with me.²

It was the parts of life that I thought mundane, that Megan most opened my eyes to. Living together, cooking dinner together, walking the pugs or more likely having pugs pile on while we binge watch Netflix. The disdain I used to have for these simple lives. The absolute joy I have found in them with Megan. Love it seems, it missing ingredient in routine.

I could never have fallen in love with someone normal. Stay at home mothers and 9 to 5ers are legitimate lifestyles, but not ones compatible with me. No I always needed someone with passion, with a calling. Megan is all that and more. An amazing actress, a fantastic teacher, the most amazing singer I have ever met. A pansexual occasional medium with a gift for the theatre and general theatrics. An amazing pug mom, near perfect aunt, and maybe the single best bar top dancer in the lower 48. Megan is beyond a doubt the whole package.

We love each other. We make each other better, and our lives are better together. I always hated all versions of the “I’m difficult and hard to love, I don’t make it easy but she still loves me” toasts and vows. Maybe stop being a stupid, lazy, mean slob and become an actual partner instead of sucking and then occasionally praising her for not leaving your sorry ass. We are not that. We are equal partners in a journey without a destination. Lovers in a great, big, beautiful world. We shall see it together. We shall travel forever. To Megan: I love you more than I thought was possible. So I offered you only this, eternal love, undying affection, numerous margaritas, and a frequently stamped passport. To my great joy you said yes.

1To be clear, I have been a passive ally, supporter of gay rights and gay marriage and hater of bigots since high school. But it was also a passive stance I believed. Now it is fundamental belief that I act on.

2I am not a monster and did not make her do this.